If you’ve been living in a cave, under a rock or are just recovering from your hangover after a heavy weekend, we’ve got news for you – Twitter is dead!
Yeah that’s right, from the early hours of Saturday morning, #RIPTwitter has been trending, Twitter has closed, all accounts and photos have been deleted and of course we are beyond distraught. But why so sudden? Where was the warning? Where will we vent to, complain until we get a response and hashtag the shit out of our posts?
Calm down, calm down. It’s all about the jokes and laughs over here. Twitter isn’t actually dead, but some people were left thinking it may as well be after Saturday’s tweetstorm. How dare Twitter even consider re-ordering how we see our tweets – who do they think they are, Facebook or something!? You know how Facebook splits our feed between ‘most recent’ and ‘top stories’ but only ever displays ‘top stories’? You know, how only a fraction of friends actually see what we post? Twitter has decided to drop all originality and copy that.
Here’s an early release of what Twitter will look like following the changes to it’s algorithm:
Since starting in his position as Twitter’s newest CEO last October, Jack Dorsey’s aim was to get all us Twitter addicts on side giving us ‘everything we ever wanted’ – thanks very much for quoted tweets, auto-playing, in-stream videos and changes to DM’s btw Jack (cause we are so over complaining across 5 DM’s and can now ramble away to our hearts content – well for 1,000 characters anyway). After starting off on a high note, instead of keeping us on-side, Jack went down another route and decided to well and truly ‘fuck things up’ back in November when he launched ‘Heart to Like’. Likes are reserved for Facebook and LinkedIn Jack – is this a case of accepting the job before you reallyyyy understand the company!? We think so.
Here’s an idea, instead of spending your weekends tweeting us to say Twitter will always remain real-time, why not give us something we actually want? Not that we’re speaking for everyone out there (we are really), but what we would really love is an edit button – cause when we make mistakes we like to fix them, comprende?
Well another day another social update I suppose. In other news, all you double life leading peeps out there can rest easy – you can now manage more than one Instagram account on your phone at once – cause logging in and out is soooo 2015. More on this soon.